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Sunday, June 28, 2009

Aguacate maduro, pedo seguro

A ripe avocado guarantees a good fart.

'nuff said.  

Te quadre, o no te quadre, "Obama" sera tu padre"

"like it or not, Obama will be yo' daddy"

El que tiene mas saliva come mas pinole.

"He who has the most spit, can eat the most Reeses Peanut Butter Cups" or "The biggest pie hole sucks down the most pie" get the picture. While we are on the subject of peanut butter cups, as a bonus, here is a recipe for a trailer trash Margarita. 1. Reeses peanut butter cup...whole,(peeled first pendejo) inserted into mouth and smushed around. Don't swallow yet. 1. Shot of Jack Daniels (or any sour mash whiskey) chugged  and re-smushed with the PBC.  Now, swallow.  Extra points for swigging from the bottle.

Amor de lejos es de pendejos.

Heads (thats the plural, not the possessive) up pendejos. "Love at a distance is for fools"

Mas vale malo por conocido, que bueno por conocer.

A retelling of the "Bird in hand.." or the "Devil that you know" sayings. Unless of course, we are talking about the obvious exception, new girl friends.

El culo y el corazon avisan.

This is a turn on the "listen to your heart" truisim. Or literally " Your asshole and your heart will warn you. " You may ignore your heart, but that second voice you can't ignore. Ever.

Quando el pobre tiene para sombreros, sus hijos nacen sin cabeza.

"When a poor man has the money to buy hats, his children are born without heads."  Quite simply god has a perverse sense of humor and regardless of merit or circumstance, you are going to be screwed.  

No hay valor como el de un pendejo

This one is a variation on "fools rush in where angels fear to tread."  or more to the point, "No bravery can compare to that of an idiots."

Lo pendejo no se estudia.

This one is simple. "Do not ever emulate an idiot" This brings us to: what is a pendejo? Ok, a pendejo is a pubic hair. In the cosmos of hair, what hair would choose to be a pubic hair and grow in the nether regions? My guess is a very stupid one. So, a pendejo is a person who makes stupid choices. 'Nuff said.