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Tuesday, September 22, 2009

Que de leche la vaca, y aunque respingue.

So long as the cow gives milk, it matters not if it complains and bucks.

The end justifies the means.  This seems to be the operative dogma when water boarding terrorists, or trying to get to first base.

Mejor llegar a tiempo que ser invitado

It is better to arrive on time than to be invited.

This is the mantra of everyone in my family. You invite one, and he shows up with toda la familia, all 12 of them. Early. If you arrive late, you might miss the shrimp ceviche, or the one six pack of Negro Modelo that Tio Bob brought. Besides, there are never enough chairs. It is hard to look chingon with your culo enveloping a green plastic kid chair. Trust me.

Sunday, September 20, 2009

No es lo mismo atras que en ancas.

To be behind a horse is not the same as riding behind the saddle.  A bit obvious if not archaic reference to who rides and who slogs through horse shit and contemplates the horse's ass. In a  more contemporary context:  There is a BIG difference between riding shotgun and riding in the back seat.

Tuesday, September 15, 2009

No por mucho madrugar se amanece mas temprano.

You can get up early all you want, but sunrise will not get here any sooner.  This paraphrases the futility of clean living and good intentions. "Don't worry be happy".  Just set the alarm and don't miss the bus.

Santo que caga y mea, el Diablo que se lo crea.

Any saint that defecates and urinates, let the devil believe in his sanctity.  A rather prosaic way of declaring that no one is a saint, especially those that declare that their shit don't stink.  

Con dos que se quieren bien, con uno que coma basta.

When two people are in love, if only one eats, that is enough.  This only makes sense if you are the one mumbling "I love you" between bites of a Subway sandwich.

No hay dolor que al alma llege que a los tres dias no se quite.

There is no pain that afflicts the soul that will not heal itself in three days.  This should be the mantra of all psychotherapy.  Suck it up, take a couple of mental health days and move on.

Monday, September 14, 2009

Como los perros del Tuito, oliendo la carne y lamiendose el pito.

A regional dicho refering to the feral perros of El Tuito, (a small town north of Puerto Vallarta). The local butchers (who pushed their carts laden with fresh meat down the callejon,) would repel the hungry dogs by throwining stones and kicking them. Soon the dogs learned to stay away, and just lay on the sidewalks, smelling the meat go by wistfully licking their balls. Think of the Republicans in Washington as the Obama administration rolls on. "The Republicans are like los perros de el Tuito...."

Sunday, September 13, 2009

No es raton de un solo agujero.

Remarkably, an allusion to a rat that calls a multitude of rat holes home, is a compliment that speaks to competence in a variety of talents.  Think Leonardo Da Vinci, a utility infielder, or a good bartender.  Conversely, a pejorative inference would refer to a Mormon with multiple wives or a bon vivant like Hugh Hefner.

Thursday, September 10, 2009

Dios los cria y solos se juntan

God may create them, but they find (and get together) by themselves. This explains the multitude of freaky wives Woody Allen has managed to cut out of the herd.

Tuesday, September 1, 2009

Me lleva la chingada, y sufro.

A recent and very personal dicho perhaps, but one of my favorites.

This one is close and personal. When my dad asked his dying father, mi abuelo Raimundo, "Como estas?" Mi abuelo would say "Me lleva la chingada y sufro." Loosly translated this ment "It is not enough that I am fucked, but I am also suffering" I took the suffering to mean suffering stupid questions from a pendejo. As my own dad lay dying, I would ask "Hey Jefe, "como tu frjol?" (How you bean)? He would invaribly look me in the eye with a mixture of love and regret and quote his own Padre, and in a glance say "How do you think Im' doing, pendejo. Me lleva la chingada y sufro" I plan on printing this on my business cards.
No le busces chi chis a las gallinas

Hey pendejo, chickens don't have tits and if you look for them you are wasting your time and risk getting pecked in the hand or whatever appendage is front and center. In short, don't mess with what you should not mess with.